So this is one of my favorite stories but I almost completely blocked it out of my memory until last night and I’m so glad I remembered because it’s too good not to share. Eric and I met on some type of swipping app about a year ago. This is an exciting one because there were 2 dates. As you read on, you will see I am a glutton for punishment because the first date should’ve really ended after our first very impolite introduction.
It was a hot day and I was feeling adorable in a not-so-sliming but super comfortable maxi dress with my bare arms jiggling freely. Eric chose to meet at a bar that actually had gone out of business so I was doing my best to look as cute and as sweat-free as possible as I waited for my date to arrive. As always, I arrived about 15 minutes on time and pacing back and forth did not help the cuteness or sweat-free efforts.
Eric came up to me and greeted me with an awkward hug and an uncomfortable stare. I said – not what you expected? because why would i want to make the uncomfortable situation any better. He said and I quote “honestly, you’re a little bigger than I expected.” Now, I should’ve slapped the guy and walked away but instead I said…hm you’re a little smaller than I expected and we walked into the first open bar we could find. Already pissed off and knowing this man was not for me, I chugged white wines as fast as the waitress could keep refilling the glass. By the 3rd glass, I found out a few things about Eric – he was deaf in his right ear (why did he chose to sit on that side of me?) and he really was not a good conversationalist. But I do not give up on challenges lightly and I was destined to turn this deaf, socially awkward date into a night we would never forget. I do not go back on my word…but, honestly don’t remember how the night ended, except I did get a text from him the next day saying he had a great time and would love to see me again.
Date 2 with the Deaf Guy:
So much like Date 1, the coming about of Date 2 is kind of fuzzy but I remember the atmosphere and the circumstances, and the awkward conversations just like it was yesterday. I happened to be out with one of my friends where were eating and drinking merrily before Eric graced us with this presence. He arrived dressed up from a busy day at the office in what I consider to look like cartoon character garb. He was decked out in a gray suit, a bright colored shirt and an equally brightly colored tie. I tried to be my flirtatious, funny self and untie his tie and tell him to loosen up and relax but friends, Eric wasn’t the relaxing type. That is until he had a few drinks in him and the bar began to empty out – then Eric was all ears and hands. I remember some music was playing that made me want to dance and I sort of felt like I was in a rom-com or a scene from Dirty Dancing. Either way, I was feeling like Ok Marg – good job on giving Eric the partially deaf guy a second chance. But all of that excitement, joy and self-praise quickly died down when Eric started shouting at me for some unknown reason. He told me I was rowdy, and crazy and I talk too much. I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears (because I could obviously hear every word he was shouting). The other patrons at the bar turned around to watch Eric storm out of the bar, out of the tab and out of my life forever.